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The ruling council of the People’s Porcelain Republic has just announced that it is to relax its long-standing one bull in a china shop policy. It is understood that the change is designed to simulate production in the industry which has been in sharp decline in the absence of Royal marriages and reduction in demand for commemorative tea sets.

Our agricultural advisor, Mr F. Yard, welcomed the change – “The single bull policy often created unrealistic parental expectations. As well as the pressures brought about by Artificial Insemination and Mad Cow Disease, recent reports about the dangers of eating too much red meat increased mental health problems amongst only bulls”.

A spokesman for Royal Dalton, plate manufactures, told Berkeley Squares that it was a mistake to make policy on the hoof and that not all steakholders had been consulted.