Preposterous! What an Insult!

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Preposterous! What an insult! There’s nothing worse than a cup of instant coffee!

There are absolutely no perceivable benefits of instant coffee. Some may argue that it’s cheaper than ground coffee, but they are wrong. They must argue out of pure naïvety, because instant coffee is not coffee at all. It is little more than bland, tasteless dishwater.

A pure shot of espresso wakes you up in the morning and elevates productivity, whereas the futile instant coffee is simply a reminder that sleeping is better than being awake. Generally, instant coffee is lower in caffeine than brewed coffee and therefore it barely does the job that most people wish of it. Moreover, it appears that instant coffee can make you go mad. A study carried out by Durham University in 2009 showed that people who drink seven or more cups of instant coffee a day are at a higher risk of suffering hallucinations.

Around 75% of people in the UK habitually drink instant coffee every day. That means around three-quarters of the UK population have yet to see the light and reap the benefits of a far superior brewed coffee.

The rather rancid alternative to brewed coffee.

When sipping an early-morning coffee one should be embraced by a flourish of exploding flavours. Only an espresso can truly provide this, and certainly not an instant espresso. For sure, an americano, cappuccino or latte are a nice start to the day too, but only if brewed the proper way. Brewed coffees from Starbucks, Costa or Caffè Nero are overpriced but certainly far preferable to a cup of watery, wearisome instant coffee. However, there is an alternative! Brewing coffee at home can often be more cost-effective than a cup of instant coffee and is undeniably a far better experience for your palate, tongue and state of mind. Contrary to popular belief it doesn’t take very long at all to brew an artisan mug of coffee. An espresso machine takes thirty seconds, an AeroPress sixty seconds, yet a mug of instant coffee leads to a lifetime of regret. The rise of the Nescafé pod means that when we lack the time to brew our own coffee a machine can do it for us.

So, I implore you: throw your little glass pot of instant coffee in the bin immediately! The coffee revolution is upon us. Don’t be left behind in a place of pure unhappiness. I promise you, mere days after switching from instant to brewed your life will improve, forever.

Simply stunning.