I thought that was Hillary Clinton. Have I missed something?
Hillary is old news now, it’s Theresa’s turn. Mrs May is going to the Supreme Court and the newspapers are very excited because she’s probably going to lose.
Did she break the law?
No, of course not. She just tried to.
So why is she going to Court?
She wants to start the process of Brexit, but unfortunately it turns out that it’s against the law.
Can’t she do what she wants? She is the PM after all.
Since King Charles lost his head in 1646 Parliament has had the upper hand: basically it’s her against 645 MPs in a wrestling match. In Britain we don’t elect a government, we elect Parliament. Parliament decides who the Prime Minister will be and she appoints the government. But the government has to do what Parliament says.
I thought that they settled all this in the High Court last month?
Keep up! They did, but Teresa May says that they were wrong. So she’s asked some other judges to come up with a different answer.
So the Supreme Court is like a video ref?
Yes. But as the boys in Pontypridd would say, it’s about brains not braun. They have to decide who’s in charge.
I know the answer to that one! I read it in the Daily Mail.
Unfortunately it’s a bit more complicated than even they realised. They were rather hoping that it was anyone who drives a 4×4, but apparently they were wrong and it turns out to be the fault of all of us clever people and the lawyers.
Remind me, what did the judges actually say?
That because Parliament passed a law to take us into the EU in 1972, Parliament would have to vote to take us out.
I don’t expect that Charles I would agree with that…
Probably not. Which is why we got rid of people like him and Putin and Trump hundreds of year ago.
So will the new judges overturn the old ones?
Nope. The Supreme Court judges are eleven of the cleverest people in Britain. Do you really think that they will side with Nigel Farage?
If Parliament gets to vote will they reverse Brexit?
No. Despite the majority of MPs opposing it, only a small minority will be brave enough to vote against it.
Why?
They are afraid that if they do the tabloid press will attack them like Rottweilers in a chicken shed. That’s democracy.
Why does any of this matter?
If there’s a vote MPs will be able to ask for amendments and slow down the process to make sure we don’t do anything stupid (ie anything that Liam Fox suggests). MPs could even require a second referendum at the end of the negotiations.
Why doesn’t Theresa May just call an election to get rid of her opposition?
Theresa May’s strongest critics are in her own party. The last thing she needs is more of them. Although she’d smash The Labour Party in an election it’s difficult to see how that would help her. Labour are pretty wimpy on this one because most of their constituents voted for Brexit. A lot of them probably support Donald Trump too.
But haven’t we all changed our minds now that we’ve seen what a dreadful mess we’re in?
Probably. But that’s rather like asking to have another go at picking up that Ming vase that’s in pieces on the floor. Get over it. With the current state of the pound you won’t be able to afford to leave the house anyway.
What happens next?
We’ve just got to wait for the Supreme Court judges to finish their Christmas dinner and make a solemn speech about the rule of law.
Can’t they do it before dinner?
No! They will need an almighty hangover in order to look vaguely serious on this one.
Aren’t they serious then?
Could you be, wearing silk stockings and a wig? And they’ve got to pretend to take Boris Johnson seriously! They’ll be killing themselves laughing.
What happens if the government lose again?
No one knows. It is likely that the government and MPs will reach a compromise. That could mean MPs allowing the government to trigger Brexit in return for an agreement to retain membership of the EU’s single market – a “soft” Brexit and complete freedom of movement.
Wasn’t that the main reason why people voted to leave the EU in the first place?
Yes. Funny isn’t it.
